Feeling Autumnal. Winter’s On Its Way!

It’s raining outside, it’s dull. It’s mere days until Halloween.

Hello Autumn!

It’s officially the season of pumpkin spice everything, hot soup for dinner, fluffy pjs and a nice cuppa tea.

This is my favourite time of year. I like coming home from work and getting cosy on the sofa to get some serious writing done. Enter #NaNoWriMo!

November first starts the journey of fifty thousand words in thirty days. A book written in a month and my favourite part of it is the wordcount and the visible track of progress while I write. Something that’s usually missing. I love a wordcount.

I’ve got my story in mind, I’ve got my prep done, I’ve even got the start of the book planned. I’m good to go, and the best thing, National Novel Writing Month takes me straight to December. And that is Christmas.

I love Christmas! Controlling my excitement is the hard part. Even though this year is going to be different because of a certain pandemic ruining everything, I still feel the Christmas spirit simmering.

I’m glad we’re at the latter part of the year and not just because I want this year to end so we can get to the next, with the sunshine hope that next year will be better, but because all my favourite things about the year, comes with Autumn.

Halloween, Bonfire Night, Toffee Apples, Sherry, Christmas Cake, Egg Nog, Advent Calendars, Turkey Dinner, Christmas Pudding, Big Jumpers, Welly Boots, Hot Chocolate, Soup, Christmas Movies, Old Traditions. And that’s just a few things.

Told you I was excited.

 

 

 

Daunting Road to Baby

I find myself a little bit tired this week.

My mind has been a whir of finances, fertility, writing and a whole load of other stuff. No one said fertility was easy, and it’s amazing how much headspace it takes up. The problems that come with it.

Money is a constant obsession, because I know how expensive this whole process is, but team it together with the low likelihood of success and it can be quite a daunting path to follow.

So, for now, I’ve reached the decision to not keep looking too far ahead, and by that, I mean, in a way, taking life one day at a time. I keep telling myself that there’s no point in worrying about what will happen in March when I’m still working on a referral to the fertility clinic.

I’ve had the blood tests, and now there’s nothing I can do until the smear test and the talk with my GP, so I refuse to obsess about what happens beyond that. I can only do what I can do.

I’ll continue with he weight loss, lowering my BMI and I’ll keep saving every penny I can, but other than that, I’m going to obsess on my writing because writing is a good obsession for me.

Fertility treatment, or even the prospect of it, can be overwhelming, but one step at a time is the way for me to go. It’s slow-going, but that just gives me more time to save money, and in the meantime, I always have writing to distract me. 

Week of Sleep

I'm reaching the end of my week off and I'm more tired than ever. 

Fatigue has been an issue, and I think I've had a little bit of an illness. Maybe a virus or infection, but as I recover, the fatigue clings to me. Maybe by the time it's time to go back to the day job, I'll be good as new. Or maybe I'll just be back to my usual late-thirty year old tired self. 

I did plan to write a butt-load this week off, but in the end, I've done very little. I actually think I'm one of those weird people who works better with a routine. Going to work gets me up and active early, and then I've got the rest of the day to write. I don't always make the most of my free time, but it does help to have a schedule and to wake up straight away. 

Once the routine goes, all my motivation goes with it. 

So, yeah, this has been a bit of a wasted week in one respect. But in another, I've absolutely loved going to bed early and not setting my alarm. Not setting my alarm is one of my most favourite things ever. 

I've got two days left of this week off, and if I get to it, I might get a bit of writing done, but the weekend might fade away into making the most of the final two days. And by making the most, I mean wearing pjs and being sleepy. 

The writer's life! 

Fertility Financials

 

Fertility treatment is expensive, and I’m not exactly a high earner. This is the infuriating thing about IVF/IUI.

I have a fantastic support system, and I earn a steady income with my day job, but the bulk payment of treatment is the issue that’s in front of me right now. I live by a strict budget I don’t spend what I don’t have to, and I save any spare money.

Do I see and end to saving? No. Because there are always expenses in the future. Once my fertility treatment is paid for, then it’ll be a house deposit, then it’ll be my post-work life. Not to mention any surprise expenses that come along. I also have to fit in the funding for a lot of dogs because I’m going to need pets.

Saving is hard, though, especially when it feels like there is a time limit. I’m not getting any younger and my biological clock is ticking loudly, which means I resent every penny I spend, and if it’s a treat for myself, it comes with a butt-load of guilt.

I have to say though, that as a person who has never been great at saving, I’m definitely getting better at it. Any money I make from my books is saved, any loose change goes into a pot to be deposited into my account, and any money gifted to me goes straight into savings.

I confess, my one weakness is books, but even that has been curbed drastically for the sake of fertility treatment.

I might just reach my savings goal yet.

Blocked Brain

 

My brain is stuck.

I’m editing today, but because I’m tired and struggling to concentrate, I’m venturing into a new story, to get my mind going. Wake it up, so to speak.

I’ve already been to the day job this morning, getting up at quarter to five in the morning to get there in time, and now I’m home in desperate need of a nap or a boat-load of coffee. The problem is, when I find myself reading the same sentence over and over again, I know I need to do something.

Usually, if I’m stuck while writing, my trick is to switch from typing to longhand, but it’s harder when it’s editing, because it’s all on the laptop. That’s why, I’m working on the start of something new, just to get into the swing of it.

Until my rain is unstuck.