Behind the Mask

When an introvert writer steps outside and learns about the promotional side of writing... I did not sign up for this.

Imaginary Friends

Being a writer always seemed like the perfect career to me. I'm an introvert, most comfortable in my own company, in my own home, with my dog and imaginary worlds to keep me company, so the idea that I could do this as a job was ideal. To sit at a computer and put words on paper - words that give others a chance to experience the exciting worlds and lives that inhabit my brain - was just what I was looking for.

What no one warned me about was that there's more to being a writer than writing. It sounds crazy, but it's true. There's a whole load of PR that comes with the job. Talking to strangers, putting yourself out there, trying to find your way into a community of people who all know each other and help each other, when your natural instinct is to blend in. It's like going to a masquerade and being forced to take off your mask.

I know I'm not alone in this discomfort. I've heard it mentioned a lot between us creative type people. That the social side of writing wasn't what they were prepared for. Over time I've grown better at faking my discomfort in person, but strangely, I still find myself socially awkward online.

It takes courage to step outside your comfort zone and that is something that is a constant battle for me. My natural instinct isn't to step forward, it isn't to bare my face, and there are times in my life when even my closest friends have struggled to understand my introverted tendencies and have called me miserable because in a large group I'm not the person who stands out. When other personalities overpower me, I grow quieter, and I wish I was at home.

Which is what makes the promotional side of writing such a challenge. I like talking to people, especially in the literary world, where we can discuss words and books and writing, and all the things I'm passionate about, but what I can't do is use those conversations to sell my work. It is a constant struggle; the line between promotion and conversation.

I've always been more comfortable with fiction than reality and there is a certain sense of security, writing books without giving too much of myself away. When I write I see through the eyes of my characters and it gives me an insight into other personalities but when it comes to the core of the matter, I still like to view things from the outside.

If I'd known writing wouldn't be as reclusive as I expected it to be, would I still do it? Absolutely! Because if all the uncomfortable moments, the awkwardness, the over-thinking are the price to create fantastical worlds and talk to like-minded people then I guess I can go to the ball and leave my mask at home.

For more of my blog posts or to read about my books visit my author website here.