No Steps Forward

 

I've taken no steps forward, but I've taken none backwards either and sometimes, staying in place feels like progress. My goal is to buy a house, but I can't say I'm any further forward than when I started. Well, maybe a tiny bit, but not enough to get me to my target any time soon. 

I'm a romance writer, and I'm trying to earn an income that way, but it's a very very slow process, so it's not really the part of my life that contributes financially to saving for a house. 

Invisible Writer

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing into the ether. No one will read this, very few read my books... I'm shouting into a cave. So, yeah, as I said, writing doesn't contribute to my financial well-being at all. When it comes to saving for a house, it's not a part that I can include in the budget.

Budgeting

I'm strict with the money I spend because saving is important to me. I don't take holidays outside of the country because it's an expense I can't afford. I shop in the cheaper supermarkets. I do all the things you're advised to do when seeking financial stability. I even have a spreadsheet that tracks all incomings and outgoings. 

Staying Still

I'm no better off, but I'm no worse off either. Reaching goals always takes small steps. Baby steps. When I went through IVF, there were times when I felt like I wasn't making progress. I couldn't get the tests I needed because of the pandemic, I had to lose weight, I had to save money. And I got there in the end. I have my beautiful, mischievous little boy.

So, I know we'll get our home. 

Perseverance

I know we'll get there someday, because I have no intention of giving up. I'll save what I can, and I'll keep writing, even if my books are hardly read. Even if this blog post is barely more than a diary entry. Baby steps... that's how I'll do it.

If you liked this post, then you can read more by perusing this blog or visiting my website. 

Self Care and Writing

Odds are, if you're a writer, then you probably go out to work too. Hell, even T.S. Eliot had a day job. Whether it's full-time or part-time, working while finding time to write isn't easy and it can be tiring to have all your time allocated. 

When you work and write, keeping up your energy and health is important to consider. So, what exactly is self-care and how do you do it? Read on to find out.

What is Self Care?

In a nutshell, it means taking care of yourself by doing things that strengthen your physical and mental well-being. It's a choice you make and it's different for everyone. Maybe for you it's reading a good book in the bath, or it could be sky-diving out of a plane. It might even be as simple as putting aside your work in progress to write a poem instead. It's whatever brings you joy and improves your mood.

Self care doesn't mean you have to go out seeking adventure. It doesn't mean you have to find a dark room and meditate. It doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be difficult. 

Why is Self Care Important?

When you're a writer, or artist, or anyone with a side-gig, it means your free time isn't really free. It's already taken up with whatever you're working on. When you have a spare minute, your mind automatically goes to plot-lines and characters. 

The need to be productive all the time can be exhausting, and it can lead to burn-out, depression and anxiety. The good news is that building a self-care routine has proven to reduce stress, while improving your concentration and your energy. 

Mental health is important and by taking care of yourself, you're tackling depression and anxiety. 

How to Care For Yourself

There are different aspects to consider - Physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being - and it doesn't have to be expensive. 

Some simple and cheap ways to look after yourself can include: Going to bed early, taking a walk, watching a movie or listening to music. You could eat your favourite meal. Drink more water. If you enjoy it then do it, and don't feel guilty about not spending every minute being productive, because self-care is productive.

Maybe what you need is to get out of the house and spend time with your friends. Go for some food, have a board game night. Meet your friends for cocktails. 

Do you enjoy puzzles? Do you like spending time with your pet? How about paint-by-numbers? Taking photographs? What do you enjoy, because spending time on whatever it is... that's going to save you from burning out. 

What Works For You

Find the thing that makes you happy. We live in a time where money is short and bills are steep. It's expensive just to live, and that means we work hard for every little thing we have. That means we're tired. 

I have a baby, a dog, a day job and a writing career to nurture, so my idea of self-care is eating Maoam JoyStixx while watching Modern Family in the middle of the night as my baby sleeps on me. It also includes naps on the sofa and walking my dog. 

What is it for you? If you don't know then you're not spending enough time on self-care. 

If you enjoyed reading this article then take a look at my website and find out about my published books and author news. 

   

Goodbye 2022

For me, if 2022 was a book in a series it would be the filler book that does nothing but set up for later stories. 

I feel like I did a lot, and achieved some things, but at the same time, have nothing to show for the year that we're about to leave behind. 

Maybe I'll hit the ground running when we get into 2023 or maybe I'll plod through the start, but mostly I don't want to be in the same place this time next year. I don't want to be stuck in this limbo that 2022 was trapped in. 

It doesn't mean there was no progress, but it's all behind the scenes and that makes it feel like it didn't happen. 

I know I'm moving forward, but sometimes it's hard to see when it happens so slowly, and it's easy to get disheartened. I'm clinging to motivation through the new year. 

Earn a Reward

One of the things I do is reward myself when I achieve a task, especially if it's a boring one. I'm not saying I buy myself a bottle of champagne for every little accomplishment, but even a little extra reading time, a nice drink, watching a movie. Whatever gets the job done. 

Break Up the Goal

Big things are easier to complete when broken up into smaller tasks, so that's what I do. I figure out what I want and then build the steps to reach it. I think looking at something like losing 3 stone in weight, or publishing a book can be intimidating when looked at, but starting small like getting into healthy habits or writing character profiles make is much more realistic. 

Why Do This?

Sometimes when I'm struggling or disheartened, I have to think about why I'm pushing myself. Why am I sitting at my computer two days after Christmas working when I could be doing something else? I visualise the end result. I need to know exactly what I want so that I can keep going. 

Prepared for Set-Backs 

The trajectory of success is never straightforward. I'm not shooting straight ahead. I falter, I get rejected, I make mistakes, and I do things wrong. Sometimes, I just straight out fail. I take time to feel bad about it, I cry, I complain and then I try again. 

Still Trying

2022 is on its way out and 2023 is coming which means I'm almost onto the next book of this series called life. 

If you liked this blog then take a look at some of my other sites, including my lifestyle blog. 

I'm a Writer! What are you?

I was nineteen when I made the decision to follow my dreams and become a writer.

I'm still waiting for my dreams to make the same choice about me, but apparently, they work a little slower than I do. 

Now I'm a writer with a day job and no one can tell me that’s not a challenge. Balancing the responsibilities of real life, while finding time for my real love is the true test of time and over the last *cough* eighteen *cough* years, the worlds that exist inside my head have kicked this world’s ass.

I’ve sacrificed nights out, time with friends, career prospects. I’ve hidden myself away, putting fictional worlds onto paper while the real one passed me by, because I am a writer, and that meant sacrifice, and I’m sure it’s a trait that many creative people share. Writers, artists, designers, chefs… Hands up if you have a tendency to put creativity first. Hands up if you prioritise work, and not the work that may earn the money, but the one that infuses your soul.

As 2019 raced by, with my writing career stalled, my social life wilted from lack of use, and my love life as vibrant as a fading ghost, I knew I had to make a change.

The problem was that I already made the decision to be a writer years before, so for me, there is no plan b. Perhaps for you there isn’t either. I can’t turn off the story ideas, the characters who talk to me, the plot bunnies who hop through my imaginary gardens, and if I tried, they’d explode out of me and I’d spout flash fiction and limericks at anyone who came within earshot. I’d be unbearable. Even more than I usually am, as a regular, struggling author.

For others, the distraction may come in a different way, but I’d wager that no matter how you express your creativity, it’s always there, waiting to pounce the second you have something else to do, because that’s how the little bugger that disguises itself as talent works. It waits until you can’t make the most of it, and then it surges forward.

So, if shutting off the inner worlds isn’t an option then I’ll have to find a way to coincide fiction with reality. I need an alternative method for a symbiotic life. The question is how? And if anyone has answers to that, feel free to let me know, because that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

Once life returns to some form of normal, my mission is to build a writing career alongside a day job and some kind of social life. (Tell me I’m not asking for miracles over here.) I’ll be figuring it out as I go. Feel free to join me. I’ve got Facebook, Twitter and Instagram set up, so anyone who wants to keep me company can follow along.

We can create together and manoeuvre through the maze that is the real world, which as an introvert, isn’t easy for the type of person I am. For a little while at least, I’m going to step a toe outside of my sparkly writing cave and see what all the fuss is about out there.

​

We just have a pandemic to get through first.

Lockdown Imagination

I’m lucky in this time of quarantine that my hobbies are so well suited to isolation.

Besides writing obviously, my current interests are visiting property websites to view houses I can’t afford, checking out cars I can’t afford, and researching fertility treatments I many never be able to afford.

If you’d asked me years ago where I saw myself at thirty-eight years old, this wasn’t it. This wasn’t even close. I thought I’d be a super-successful writer, married with kids and living in a house of my own.

Reality looks a little different. Not that there aren’t good things about being thirty-eight, single and living with my parents, but you know, it wasn’t exactly the dream.

The thing about being locked down at home, it gives a person time to think about what they want from life. A lot of time to think.

In my day job I’m classed as an essential worker, so I still go out to work, but all the other things have been removed, which like I said, is where my interests come in handy. I still know what I want out of life, and now all I do is think about it.

I have dreams of sitting on Butler’s Wharf, eating nice food, drinking wine and overlooking Tower Bridge, but mostly what I want is to be a writer and to have a family.

I guess when you concentrate a person’s thoughts, true desires burst forward. But mine are still at their core, what they have always been.

I want to write, I want a baby and a trip to London would be nice.

Happy 2020!

Wishing you all a happy new year!

2020 is the year!

I’m starting the year off right. I’m starting it writing. Day one, I’ll be at my laptop, working.

The question is, do you have new years resolutions to shoot for? I’m a big fan of them, a big believer of starting the year from scratch. Everything from the year before gets put into the past and you get to start anew, and with resolutions planned, it gives you goals to shoot for. You hit the ground running.

I have my own resolutions. I’m going to work at publishing more, I’m going to find a good work/life balance, and I’m going to have a try at being less lazy. That last one might be a challenge. I do love my pjs, I do love lying on the sofa reading, and I do love naps. Yeah, that last goal might be a challenge.

So, for the first day of your brand-new decade, what have you got planned? And what are your resolutions?

Behind the Mask

When an introvert writer steps outside and learns about the promotional side of writing... I did not sign up for this.

Imaginary Friends

Being a writer always seemed like the perfect career to me. I'm an introvert, most comfortable in my own company, in my own home, with my dog and imaginary worlds to keep me company, so the idea that I could do this as a job was ideal. To sit at a computer and put words on paper - words that give others a chance to experience the exciting worlds and lives that inhabit my brain - was just what I was looking for.

What no one warned me about was that there's more to being a writer than writing. It sounds crazy, but it's true. There's a whole load of PR that comes with the job. Talking to strangers, putting yourself out there, trying to find your way into a community of people who all know each other and help each other, when your natural instinct is to blend in. It's like going to a masquerade and being forced to take off your mask.

I know I'm not alone in this discomfort. I've heard it mentioned a lot between us creative type people. That the social side of writing wasn't what they were prepared for. Over time I've grown better at faking my discomfort in person, but strangely, I still find myself socially awkward online.

It takes courage to step outside your comfort zone and that is something that is a constant battle for me. My natural instinct isn't to step forward, it isn't to bare my face, and there are times in my life when even my closest friends have struggled to understand my introverted tendencies and have called me miserable because in a large group I'm not the person who stands out. When other personalities overpower me, I grow quieter, and I wish I was at home.

Which is what makes the promotional side of writing such a challenge. I like talking to people, especially in the literary world, where we can discuss words and books and writing, and all the things I'm passionate about, but what I can't do is use those conversations to sell my work. It is a constant struggle; the line between promotion and conversation.

I've always been more comfortable with fiction than reality and there is a certain sense of security, writing books without giving too much of myself away. When I write I see through the eyes of my characters and it gives me an insight into other personalities but when it comes to the core of the matter, I still like to view things from the outside.

If I'd known writing wouldn't be as reclusive as I expected it to be, would I still do it? Absolutely! Because if all the uncomfortable moments, the awkwardness, the over-thinking are the price to create fantastical worlds and talk to like-minded people then I guess I can go to the ball and leave my mask at home.

For more of my blog posts or to read about my books visit my author website here.